


respire

by Dadzawa, sanguine_puddles



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Asahi needs a hug, Choking, Crying, Established Relationship, Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mild Language, Panic Attacks, like twice but it's there, on air but still i'll count it, the fuck word, the soft little spitfire (yuu) deserves an award
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-24 00:30:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19162132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dadzawa/pseuds/Dadzawa, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanguine_puddles/pseuds/sanguine_puddles
Summary: Asahi has a panic attack and Yuu calms him down.





	respire

**Author's Note:**

> okay, so i literally just wrote this. it is currently 02:27(am) and this took 2 to 3 hours to write. the idea of asanoya and anxiety as a prompt has been floating around in my head for a while and i finally got motivated enough to do it. apologies if there are mistakes; i wanted to get this up right away (i'm excited and have no patience). also, there is an abuse of en-dashes and italics. enjoy!
> 
> update: now edited! (i think)  
>  ~~i have an army of commas, so many~~

_Breathe, breathe,_ breathe _. You’re fine--I wish it would stop--just breathe._

_Fuck, why is this so hard?_

_Breathe--I can't hear I can't hear I can't he--_

_Am I crying?_

_My heart is beating too fast, I'm gonna die--I'm dying._

_No, no, no, no, I'll be fine, you’re fine, just_ breathe _for fuck’s sake._

 _Make it stop. Stop, stop,_ stop _!_

_I can't do this--I can't see--you’re fine. I'm dying._

_Brea--_

“Asahi!”

Rough relief.

_I can't breathe--_

Small hands guiding one much larger to a chest, rising and falling slowly, calm.

“Come on, deep breaths. Do them with me.”

Gentle gravel.

“In, count to four. Out, four. In, four--”

_\--out, four. In, one, two, three, four. Out, one, two, three, four._

“That's it.”

Mesmerizing mumble.

_I'm breathing--two, three--I'm good, I'll be fine._

_Out, one, tw--_

_Red?_

_Fuck--no, not again, I'm choking._

A small hand on a glistening cheek.

“Hey, hey, keep counting, you'll get there.”

Crackling caress.

Deep breath, _in, one, two, three, four._ Exhale, _out, one, two, three, four._

_I'm fine._

_I'm fine._

_I'm fine._

_I'll be fine._

_I can breathe._

Sighs of exhaustion, relief, the smell of pollen thick.

_I can hear._

Birds singing a last song, leaves rustling, voice murmuring.

_I can feel._

Chilling air, wet face, sticky sweat, sore limbs, warm hands.

_I can see._

Green clovers, poppies, colorful sunset, the back of the school building, _Yuu_.

A frown settles on Asahi’s face and trembling lips work to form words. “Wha… What are… What are you doing here?”

Yuu smiles, bright and sharp. “You were lookin’ a bit antsy back there. I got worried when a trip to the bathroom turned into leaving without coming back.”

Asahi huffs and closes his eyes, leaning into Yuu’s hand. “I'm tired.”

A chuckle. “I bet.”

Yuu’s other hand finds residence at the nape of Asahi’s neck, threading fingers through sweat-damp hair. He leans forward until their foreheads touch. Silence hangs in the air, heavy, but comforting.

_I'm fine._

Minutes pass, the last tendrils of panic retreating, leaving Asahi shivering under the other’s touch. He can feel Yuu’s warm breath on his face, steady.

Yuu’s thumb drags over his cheek as he shifts back to look at Asahi. His voice is a whisper. “Can I kiss you?”

Asahi cracks his eyes open halfway and hums. His eyes close again when chapped lips graze his forehead.

Nose, cheeks, eyelids, dancing wherever they can reach.

Then finally, chapped lips meet soft, nerve-bitten ones. Sweet and chaste and full of love.

_I'm fine._

They part and Yuu smiles with overwhelming emotion. “Let's take you home.”

Asahi smiles faintly in response with what little energy he has.

Together, they get themselves standing and take the short trek to Asahi’s house. The roads are quiet, the street lights blinking on, the stars waking.

Asahi’s house is silent, his relatives either sleeping or working. They get inside with practiced ease, taking off shoes and hanging coats.

Yuu follows Asahi to his room, waits until he's in his pajamas before asking, “Can I stay the night?”

Asahi always says yes, no matter the circumstances; Yuu never has to ask, but he does anyway.

Yuu changes into the sweats and tee he has stashed in Asahi’s dresser, follows Asahi under the covers of the bed. He curls around Asahi, cradling him to his chest despite being significantly smaller.

Lights out, bodies relax.

Asahi clenches his fingers in Yuu’s shirt, burrows closer. “I… I love you…” He sighs.

Yuu hugs Asahi tighter, kisses the crown of his head. “Love you, too.”

_I'm fine._

**Author's Note:**

> for some context into the " _Red?_ " piece, i headcanon that asahi has a bit trauma involving blood or taillights, so it made his attack spike again. the poppies are red; i don't really think i have to specify that, but all of the local poppies where i live are orange, so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
>  **respire** : 1. breathe 2. recover hope, courage, or strength after a time of difficulty


End file.
